The following posts are taken from my journal and mixed with personal recollections. I have backdated them to reflect real-time thoughts and events as I experienced them.
Whew. As I sit – somewhat comfortably – in my assigned seat near the window of an American Airlines 777 bound for London, I am finally able to catch my breath. The past 10 hours have been a whirlwind of hyperventilating proportions. The spiritual battle to keep me off this plane has been relentless, with Satan pulling out his big guns and using every strategy at his disposal to discourage me, to frighten me, to prevent me from following. But thankfully, I take orders from the Commander-in-Chief Himself, and somehow He always manages to emerge victorious. Every time.
First, it was my fig. This temptation has threatened to consume my mind and distract me from spending time with my husband and children. From mentally preparing for my trip. From spending time with God, praying and reading His Word. From emotionally connecting to what God will do in and through me on this journey He has called me to. Though I know victory is ultimately mine, the battle is far from over. Despite my inner struggle, I am determined not to fall…and to follow in obedience to where God has called me.
With that strategy failing, Satan tried another. This time, it was an attack on my children. My daughter, in particular. Around dinnertime, she suddenly became violently ill. Her timing couldn’t have been worse, as we were on a tight schedule to get to Trey’s Cub Scout Patrol meeting. I tried desperately – and in vain, as T-Mobile’s network was strangely “out of service” – to get in touch with Matt to come home so I could go to the meeting. God provided two angels, in the form of my fellow patrol leaders, to come to my rescue, leading the meeting in my absence and providing transportation for Trey so he could attend. And around 8:30 P.M…Crisana’s symptoms suddenly vanished. The screams of pain quieted. The violent and incessant retching ceased. The Great Physician had intervened, bringing physical healing to His little one…and emotional healing to this mother’s heart. Knowing that my daughter was going to be fine, I was able to finish packing with a sense of calmness and peace.
Now, it was time for the big guns. If Satan couldn’t distract me with temptations, or dishearten me with a sick child, maybe he could prevent me from going by making it impossible for me to get there. My morning had been incredibly busy, with piano lessons and last-minute errands filling every possible moment. I had time enough to *almost* finish my to-do list, but had one final errand to run on the way to meet the group at the church. We loaded up my bags in the car and headed to the church, only to realize that we had left something at home. Matt dropped me off at my errand destination and headed home to get what we had forgotten. I finished my errand and waited outside the store. And waited. And waited. And waited. I watched the minutes on my watch tick away, as time grew shorter and shorter…and finally became late. Without my cell phone, I was at a loss to know what had happened…or have any way to contact anyone at the church to let them know where I was. Sure enough, Matt had been stopped and ticketed on the way home for an expired registration sticker. The sticker may have expired a year ago…but it was TODAY, of all days, that he received the ticket. TODAY. But God held the vans at the church until I arrived. The victory was mine.
So here I am, sitting on a plane bound for Africa. Okay, so this plane is bound for London…but the next plane is bound for Africa. And I’m reminded that somehow, some way, through all of this drama and stress, through all my failings and inadequacies, God will be honored and glorified. His purpose in me will be accomplished. The journey may be hard but the reward will be well worth it all.