Tonight begins the series, “The 5 Love Languages of Children.” As I’ve been preparing this week for the class, I pre-viewed the video for the orientation sessions. Attempting to be “hip” and “current”, the producers of the video placed cameras in the homes of 4 different couples so we could watch life, unscripted, and then critique the parents.
Most of the video clips took place in the morning, with families eating breakfast together. The vast majority of these families homeschool; only one was dual-income. The pace of the morning routine was obviously much more laid-back than in families where children must get dressed and ready for school, and parents must get out the door. And whether it was because they knew they were on-camera, or they are always like that, most parents received high praise for being attentive to and responding to their children’s needs in appropriate ways.
But it got me to thinking…what were things like when the cameras were turned off? What if I had a “secret” camera on in the mornings…or afternoons…at my house? What if others could see me as I responded to my children when I’m tired, or needing a break? Do I put on a “public” mother hat when I’m out and about, so others will praise me and nominate me for “Mom-of-the-Year?” Or do I live a life of integrity, where what you see is what you get…ALL THE TIME?
Yeah, I know I’m not perfect. And I’ve sure got a long way to go as a mom. Thank goodness I’ve still got the next 50 or so years to practice. And maybe, just maybe, this morning I was a little more patient…a little more encouraging…a little more sensitive…a little more aware of my own reactions to how my children were “speaking” to me. I’m fully convinced that’s not such a bad thing. Perhaps with a little more practice, I’ll get it right yet.
That sorta reminds me of Nanny-911 or the other show like it. I think, cynically I know, that its all in the editing. The network shows want to catch and show the bad behavior (which is its own learning experience), while the 5 Love Languages people would want to catch the positive experience.
We’re never ‘on’ 24 hours a day, we all have our bad days. Cameras would eventually catch us doing something bad (read a study back in grad school, where it mentioned that eventually people who know they are under 24 hour surveillance eventually forget they are being watched).
Focusing on positive behaviors is the right thing, and really understanding that we are ‘watched’ 24 hours a day, by this great cloud of witnesses should remind us of the race we are running, and they are cheering us on to finish well.