Love in 5 Languages, Part 3

I got a little behind this week, so I’m going to catch up from Wednesday.  So now, we move on to the language of words of affirmation.  Oops, better make that quality time, as I got confused on the order!

I have a child whose love language is DEFINITELY quality time!   I won’t mention names, but she’s the one who is my “shadow” around the house.  She wants to be in the studio when I’m on the computer.  She wants to help me when I’m cleaning.  She wants to go with me when I run errands to the store.  Above all, she wants to spend time with me.

And frankly, sometimes, that’s hard.  I’m realizing my year of employment hurt my family dynamic in more ways than I’d like to admit.  Quality time?  What was that?  Did shuffling my kids from one “friendsitter” to another count?  Did the few minutes I’d spend in the car preoccupied with my own thoughts and stresses while I rushed to yet another obligation, duty, or requirement fulfill the need?  Of course, the answer was no.  I praise God that I now have the opportunity to “fix” my mistakes and – hopefully – learn from them.  I dearly want to avoid repeating that horrendous performance.

With our busy lifestyles, trying to find time to be together is difficult.  But it’s not impossible.  There are small ways to build quality “snippets” when a huge chunk of time just isn’t possible.  Do we take the time to sit together at meals?  The few times my family did, we always had the tv on in the background.  Cartoons for the kids in the morning, midday news at lunch, and news or syndicated game shows for dinner.  I would have my head buried in a magazine or be in the studio checking emails during breakfast.  God helped me realize what a precious opportunity I was missing, so now the norm is to have the tv off during meals, with an exception being on Saturdays when the Aggies are playing, or on Sunday night when “The Silly Show” (a.k.a. “AFV”) is on.  We talk, we laugh together, we learn Bible verses, we have family devotions, we pray, we get to know each other…it’s priceless.

There is a healthy balance to be found for sure.  I’ve got to have time to nurture my spirit, to develop myself as a person, and to do the things I must do as a wife, mother, volunteer, and teacher.  But know what I’ve noticed?  As I’ve incorporated more times for quality time together with my little shadow, I actually have more time to myself!  Why?  Because I’ve spoken her language.  I’ve filled her emotional tank.  I’ve validated her in the way that means the most to her.  And because of that she’s secure, she’s satisfied, and she’s willing to let me have my 5 minutes of peace and quiet.

Savor the moments.  Sieze the day.  Set the priorities and set ’em straight.  Because my children are only this age once.  And these are the years when they want me around.  You bet I’m gonna cherish every moment.  I just might not get to scrapbook it right away.