debily

Archive for the ‘Kids…gotta love ‘em’ Category

Most of the time, I’m a pretty good mom.  That’s not to say I haven’t had moments of EPIC FAILURE in that department, but my kids will even admit – to perfect strangers, nonetheless – that as a mom, I’m certainly above the 50th percentile.

And then there are days like today, when I totally nail it…and stick the landing, to boot.  Hit it out of the park.  Serve up an ace.  Out-kick my coverage.  When it’s a slam dunk.  When I *know* I rocked it.  When I get to hear things like, “You’re the BEST MOM EVER!” and then get covered in slobbery smooches and treated to great big bear hugs and rib-crushing squeezes.

So what did I do to deserve these accolades?  What great feat did I accomplish to deserve such raving reviews from my harshest critics?  What amazing achievement provided this ego-inflating boost and hoisted me to this grand pedestal?

Well, if you’ll allow me a little chest-thumping and swagger-stepping, I’ll show you.  It’s this:

Yeah, that’s my beautiful, sweet, spirited, precious, amazing daughter.  I’m always proud of THAT accomplishment, believe me.  But really, this time it’s not so much about her but rather what she’s holding.  She is holding her homework project for this week, which she and I spent most of a rainy Saturday and a sunny Sunday afternoon putting together.

It’s her very own Chocolate Lover’s Cookbook.  I don’t know what makes me prouder: the fact that she made a cookbook, or that it’s all about CHOCOLATE!!

She came home on Monday with a project list based on the book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. One of the projects was to create a Chocolate Lover’s Cookbook.  I had just finished making a prayer journal at the Christ Fellowship Women’s Retreat (thanks to the creative and uber-organized Renee Lewis) and thought this would be the perfect way to create something very special for Crisana.  Something that went beyond “just” a homework project, but something that would become a treasured keepsake, something she could enjoy and add to throughout the years, something I could hold on to and give to her as a housewarming gift in her first apartment…or as a gift for her wedding.

I actually purchased the papers and ribbons, but bought a little extra to give her some creative choices.  She did a great job helping me cut all the papers, run the letters through the Xyron, adhere the cover and binding, and put all the recipes inside.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have the miracle “YES” glue that Renee had recommended, so we ended up using plain old Elmer’s white glue.  And that made the paper wrinkly.  But if beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Crisana thought this was a masterpiece.  And she absolutely had a blast spreading the white glue with her fingers all over the cover of the composition book.

Inside the front cover, I had every intention of making a Table of Contents or a dedication page explaining when and why this book was created.  Unfortunately, I ran out of time for this assignment, but when we get the book back, I will be sure to add that inside.  I want her to always remember the love I spoke to her through every step of this project, and how much I enjoyed the time we spent together making it.

We collected recipes online through email and Facebook, as well as the old-fashioned way, culling through our many cookbooks.  But I wanted to be sure to include special recipes that our family has enjoyed and that have meaning to her.  She was so excited to see that we had included Trey’s specialty – these Gobbler Goodies – and the Chocolate Pretzel Rings she helps me make every Christmas.  She spoke over and over how one day she will tell her children about these recipes and show them what their Uncle Trey looked like when he was a child.

Of course, we were sure to include a bookmark, as well as several recipes from Mom, the Original Chocolate Lover.  Every recipe is a testimony to the love I have for all things chocolate (except chocolate cake…go figure) but also the love I have for this little girl, who surpasses the sweetness of chocolate, who makes my life far richer than any decadent chocolate dessert, and who fills my heart with far more joy than any candy bar ever could.

I’m not all that much into chicken soup.  Don’t get me wrong, chicken soup definitely has its place in the grand scheme of life.  But for me, comfort foods are more about sweets you can sink your teeth into than watered-down broth with slurpy noodles.

And frankly, Little Debbie snack cakes make me happy.  They always have.

Something about peeling apart the double layers of the zebra cakes and licking the creamy frosting filling off the top of the bottom layer makes me smile.  I take great joy in unrolling the Swiss Cake Rolls and scooping out the filling with my finger and licking it clean before devouring the chocolate-coated cake part.  And don’t even get me started on the gooey, melty goodness that is an oatmeal cream pie.

And so that’s why I get so excited about my Little Debbi Sermonettes.  Those little nuggets of biblical goodness that make me feel all bubbly and giddy inside.  Those moments when God whispers a truth in my ear that makes my heart nearly burst with excitement.  Those “aha!” revelations when my heavenly Father wraps me up in a great big bear hug with a special message of love just for me..but one that I absolutely can’t keep to myself.

This weekend, God did that.  He sent me another snack cake for my soul.  The best part?  It was a TWIN PACK!!  Two delicious treats of yummy God-created goodness wrapped up together in one package.  Sweet surprises like that deserve to be shared, so hold out your hand and prepare to be blessed!

You have kept a record of my wanderings. Put my tears in your bottle. They are already in your book.  Psalm 56:8, God’s Word translation

This week, an exciting event occurred in the Speer household.  For several months, Trey has insisted that two of his upper molars were wiggly.  Try as we might, Matt and I had a hard time getting those so-called loose teeth to move.  For one thing, braces kind of got in the way.  And then there was the retainer, a hard plastic mouth-guard which had to be worn All. The. Time. except when eating.  And to be perfectly honest, I’d rather not engage in a tooth-wiggling struggle when there is food in the mouth.

But then came the day when the retainer-wearing ordinance was relaxed and we could finally have access to those teeth.  It wasn’t long after that we discovered – much to our horror – that the permanent teeth were descending ON TOP of the baby teeth.  With dollar bill signs and thoughts of extra orthodontic treatment looming large in our brains, we set Trey a-wiggling.  Wiggle in the morning.  Wiggle in the evening.  Wiggle in the in-between times.  Just wiggle, wiggle, wiggle…and get that tooth out!  On Wednesday, it happened.  Just after he walked in from school, I saw that tooth dangling, took a firm grasp and with one mighty twist – POP! – out it came.

Though Trey is now officially “in the know” regarding the secret identity of the Tooth Fairy, we still did the whole routine and in the morning there was a crisp new $1 bill waiting for him.  As Trey collected his dues, he asked me, “What do you do with my teeth?”  I informed him that Matt has saved every single one of them in a special box in our bedroom.  “WOW!!  Can I see them??”  was the next, all-too-10-year-old-boy question I was asked.  “Sure.”  I responded…and we did.  And he marveled over every single one.

When I read the verse above this weekend, I was reminded of this scene.  Why, exactly, do we as parents save our kids’ teeth?  What good reason do we have for holding on to something that is so useless, so worthless, and frankly, so GROSS as old teeth?   Why don’t we just throw them out and move on?  Because they are REMINDERS.  They remind us as parents where our children have come from.  They represent milestones of our children’s journeys from infancy to maturity.

And that is exactly why God collects our tears in His bottle.  To remind us of what we’ve come from.  To show us that when we shed those tears of sorrow or grief or loneliness or anger or hurt or disappointment or joy or gratitude that He was journeying through those times with us.  To show us how far we’ve come in our own personal journeys with him.  To demonstrate how much He – our heavenly Father – loves us and cares for us as His children.

The next time you feel those tears welling up within you, know that your Father stands close by, ready to catch them with His bottle, so that He can remind you of all that He is…and all you are becoming as you journey to His heart.

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.  Isaiah 49:16

I may be old, but I do remember being in high school.  And believe it or not, in those days, kids didn’t have cell phones.  We barely had CORDLESS phones…and I’m still convinced my family was the *last* family on earth to discontinue use of a rotary phone.  When something important came up during class – like needing a friends’ phone number, or when that cute guy I had a crush on told me to meet him at a certain time in a certain location, or when a bunch of people were getting together for a party or event and I desperately wanted to be there – and I needed to write it down FAST, where did I put it?  Yep – on the palm of my hand.

I did go to college, too, in those long-ago days.  I well remember those busy days of classes, labs, student teaching assignments, projects, and crazy adventures with friends.  When a friend wanted to meet for a late-night snack-shack run, or when a bunch of us made a study date, or when I needed to know that cute guy’s room number or phone extension, where did I write it down?   Sometimes, little post-it notes got lost or misplaced or the sticky just plain wore off.  Sometimes, I didn’t have any paper with me other than a gum wrapper or the project I’d stayed up all night working to complete.  You guessed it…I hastily scribbled it on the palm of my hand.

I did manage to graduate from college and get a “real” job in the “real” world.  My days as a teacher were busy and full.  Juggling responsibilities in ministry and vocation, all while maintaining some sort of social life kept me going all day every day.  If I needed to remember to pick up milk and bread on the way home from work, or if I suddenly was able to get a doctor’s appointment changed, or if my singles’ group decided on the spur of the moment to go out for a late-night movie, where did I record that information so I would be SURE to remember it?  Yep…once again, on that trusty old palm of the hand.

Now I live life as a wife and mother, busy with responsibilities of caring for a family, maintaining a job, and being involved in ministry.  Some days, keeping my ducks in a row is a harder task than it sounds.  I shun to-do lists because they overwhelm me.  I don’t carry a calendar with me because it distracts me.  So where do I write those important little to-do’s that I can’t forget to-do?  Yeah…on the palm of the hand once again.

So why would God tell us that He has engraved us on the palm of His hand?  For the very same reason we write those important notes on our own palms.  So we remember.  So we don’t forget.  Because those people, those things, those numbers or dates or times or grocery items are important to us.  And in the same way, we’re important to God.  He remembers us.  He won’t forget us.

Because you see, there’s one important difference between our hands and His.  When I write my new friends’ name and phone number on the palm of my hand, I can be assured that at some point it will wash away.  My hands get dirty, filled with germs, and unclean.  I’ll need to use soap and water and scrub for 30 seconds under warm water…and that name will be erased.  No longer visible.  Forgotten.

Not so with God.  His hands are pure.  His hands are clean.  And you can know for a fact that once your name is written – better yet, ENGRAVED – there, it will NEVER wash away.  You name is written on His hand for eternity.  Indelible.  Inscribed.  Permanent.  He will NEVER forget you.  He will ALWAYS remember you.  And I imagine that when He looks at His hand and sees your name…He smiles.  Because He loves you.

Yesterday was our neighborhood’s National Night Out and as we always do, we hosted a friendly competition for the food.  Neighbors bring finger food in various categories and we do a secret ballot to determine the winners in each.  This year, the kids decided to outdo the parents!

Crisana settled on Black Cat Cupcakes.  She helped with every step, mixing the batter, baking the cupcakes, and setting them out to cool.  Even though Mom helped a bit with the frosting and decorating, Crisana was actively involved in the entire process.  And just look at how cute they came out:

She was so proud to show off her creations:

Not to be outdone, Trey made his own special festive treats.  We first made these Gobbler Goodies 2 years ago for a pack campout, and we’ve ended up making them every year since.  Each time, he’s taken more and more ownership of the process and can probably make them on his own next year.  This was probably our best batch ever:

Trey was very excited and proud to share them at the get together:

But we have some very creative neighbors as well, so the competition was fierce:

Crisana ended up winning her division for her cupcakes, and although Trey came up empty-handed we were proud of our creative bakers and enjoyed the fruit of their labors!

It’s Labor Day weekend, which means an extra day to enjoy family time together.  So what do you do when you’re unemployed and can’t afford a weekend getaway?  You find FREE fun around town!

We took advantage of the FREE Home Depot Kids’ Club this Saturday.  The kids have done these before, but it has been awhile, so we dusted off the old orange kid-sized Home Depot aprons and headed out to our nearest Men’s Toy Store.

This month’s project was making a display shelf shaped like a football.  Both kids did a great job!

Unfortunately, my camera battery died, so I don’t have pictures of the finished project, but the kids had a blast and were so proud of their creations.  And did I mention, it was FREE?!?

The first day of school is always exciting.

You get to use your brand-new backpack and lunch box for the very first time.

You get to wear your brand-new clothes that Mom has said “no” to every day since you bought them.

You get to color with those brand-new crayons that have NEVER BEEN USED.  They’re not broken or dull, and they even have the little paper wrappers still on them.

You get to see your friends again and have a new classroom and a new teacher and a new routine.

And, if you’re lucky, you lose a tooth moments after you arrive home.

Or at least that’s how Crisana rolls.

As she got ready for bed last night, we had to make preparing for the Tooth Fairy part of the routine.  She brought out all the stops: her tooth treasure box, a candle to light the way, and – in case the Tooth Fairy was confused – an explanatory note.

And of course, the Tooth itself, tucked carefully away in the Tooth Treasure Box, awaiting the arrival of the blessed Tooth Fairy.

And in the morning, she discovered a crisp new $1 bill, which she promptly announced she was giving – along with her “2 quarters” (really a dime and a penny) – to church for the children at the Yellow House in Monterrey, Mexico.

Exciting times.  In fact, so exciting, she decided to do it all over again…losing another tooth moments before our neighbor arrived to pick her up for school.

And that’s the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.

It’s a day of first…and lasts.  It’s the first day of school, and that means Trey’s LAST FIRST day of elementary.  I”m still wondering when I ended up with a fifth grader.  I’m pretty sure I was changing that boy’s diapers last week.

But the calendar begs to differ, so it’s off to school we go.

New outfits, new backpacks, new lunchboxes, new glasses for Trey, new haircuts.  It’s all part of the “new” year routine.  Except Crisana didn’t want to wear her new outfit for the first day.  She wanted to wear a dress.  She’ll wear her new outfit as her “second day of school clothes.”

The difference between boys and girls isn’t so much pink and blue as it is camo and plaid.

School starts earlier this year – 8:00 for elementary rather than 8:45 – so we had to get an earlier start.  The bus shows up at our house at 6:42, so yes, for the first time ever I’m driving the kids to school every day.  Because Trey is in fifth grade, he gets to be part of the morning news team broadcasting live each morning at the start of the day.  He was anxious to get to school so he could rehearse, so the picture at the marquee had to wait.  The picture with Mr. McGowen, greeting the children as they arrived, did not.

Trey rushed off to the library the moment we were through the doors.  No first day picture for him.  *sigh*  But I was able to get a picture of Crisana as she prepared for her very first day of second grade.

And with that “Hurry-up-and-take-the-picture, you’re-embarrassing-me, Mom” look I headed to the library for the Tears and Cheers PTA reception.  No tears for me this time – I’m an old pro – unless you count the few I held back as I proudly watched my boy – no, better make that my young man – give the weather report on the KMES Morning News.  He may be a big fifth grader, but I still get to tuck him in and give him 10 kisses and 10 hugs each night.

With that, I was off…and so were my kids.  Off to another adventure of learning and growth.  Off to another year of building character and developing as future leaders.

Off to continue becoming the people God created them to be.

I arrived home from Africa just a little over 24 hours ago, and already reality is hitting me full in the face.  That, and the fact that I’ve been awake since 2:30 A.M. trying to readjust to the Central Time Zone, and WHAM!  My mission trip is O-V-E-R.

Tonight was Meet the Teacher Night at McGowen.  This is always a highlight of back to school for our family.  Getting to see those friends we haven’t seen in awhile, catching up on each others’ summers, seeing the new combinations of faces we will become so familiar with over the next 10 months…it’s all very exciting and fun.

This year was no exception.  Since I was in the gym with Trey, doubling as super-duper Cub Scout recruiters, Matt was able to take Crisana to her classroom and do the whole drop-off-supplies, see-where-the-desk-is, check-out-the-class-list, take-pictures-and-sign-all-the-forms thing.

She found her desk with no problem.  She’s surrounded by boys.  I’m sure she will love that.

She was very excited to get Ms. Ellison as her teacher!

Thankfully, my reinforcements showed up in time for me to take Trey to his class and at least say hello to his teacher.  I learned quickly that things are very different in 5th grade.

For one thing, there are no desks…just tables.  And for another,

Trey actually enjoyed organizing his supplies into the binder.  I wonder if it’s too much to hope that that excitement will actually spill over into organizing his desk at home…

This is also his first year to have a male teacher.  He is very excited about being in Mr. Nash’s homeroom!  I’m still adjusting to the fact that he’s nearly as tall as his teacher…such a far cry from Kindergarten when his head barely reached his teacher’s waist.

The meet and greet is over…now it’s time to get this school year started!

Deep conversations can happen when you least expect them.  Oh sure, you’re prepared for them around the dinner table, or before bedtime, when things are quiet and the mind has a chance to unwind and relax a bit.  For my kids, however, it’s always those short bits of time when we’re in the car, hustling from one location to another that they choose to explore the mysteries of life, the intricacies of faith, and test the limits of my understanding on all matters scientific and mathematical – like multiplication or 3-digit addition.

Today’s topic revolved around Matt’s job.  Listening to their musings, fielding their questions, I was struck with how deeply this layoff is affecting them.  As they shared with me their fears – fears of losing our house, of having to move, of not being able to pay for clothes or food, and yes, even of living on the street – I realized that this “life storm” is not just being felt by Matt and me.  It’s affecting our whole family.  And God will use this experience to deepen not only Matt’s and my faith, but also our children’s.

They are learning to pray persistently and specifically.

They are learning to ask boldly for God’s blessing as we obey through tough times.

They are learning to trust for God’s provision in the face of dwindling resources.

They are learning to be grateful for what we have, and not take “things” for granted.

They are learning the hard lessons of patience and perseverance and humility.

They are learning to be totally dependent on God alone when we are helpless to solve the problem.

As a parent, it’s incredibly difficult to watch your children suffer.  It’s natural to want to protect them against the hardships of life and the cruelty of the world.  It’s our desire to only give them good things, and to try our best to keep them from failing or falling.  But it’s through those experiences that we learn the most: about ourselves, about the strength and bonds of family and friends, about God.

May I, like them, open my eyes to the wonder of child-like faith.  May God teach me through their obedience, and may I come to see my Abba Father in fresh new ways as we weather this storm together.

June 18, 2010 – a day that (in our house, at least) will live in infamy – Toy Story 3 was finally and deliberately released by producers and directors from the Empire of Pixar Studios…

So here it is.  Andy’s growing up and heading off to college, and his toys – though they have vowed to “be there for him whenever he needs them” – are feeling the change, too.

My children have anticipated this day for a year.  They have eagerly talked about it, made plans to see it, and stopped all activity to pay full attention whenever they saw a preview or trailer.

I, on the other hand, have feared for this day.  Well, not actually *THIS* day, as I enjoy the Toy Story movies, too.  But the day it represents to every parent.  The day when we finally push our baby birds out of the nest and watch them fly.  The day that comes far too soon.  The day we can never avoid…or slow down time to hold off.

I was deeply touched by one particular scene in the movie.  As the day finally arrives for Andy to head off to college, he and his mother enter his bedroom – which now is completely barren except for the furniture and the familiar blue-sky and off-white stars painted on his wall.  The two of them stand in the room for a moment, quiet, each alone with their own thoughts: Andy with the bittersweet reality of leaving home and the familiar behind coupled with the overwhelming excitement of all that lies ahead; his mother with the memories of her little boy and the realization that the one who stands next to her is no longer that little boy but rather a grown man – handsome, strong, and fully capable.  Unable to help herself, she sheds a tear (or two) and tries her best to stifle the cry in her throat.  Andy tries to reassure her that it’s okay – it’s part of life, he’s ready for this, it’s not good-bye forever – and as she holds him close to her one more time she says, “I know.  It’s just that I wish I could be with you all the time.”

And that’s when I’d wished I’d paid the extra 3 bucks to watch it in 3-D so I could have hidden my own tears behind those silly-looking glasses.  I looked over at that not-so-small-anymore boy sitting next to me and was overwhelmed with the fact that in only 8 short years, we will be reenacting our own version of that scene.  We are more than halfway to the end of Trey’s childhood and the beginning of his life “on his own.”   And I pause to wonder, does he know…

… how much I love him?  How much his Dad loves him?  How sometimes I love him so much it makes me hurt inside?

…how blessed I feel to know that God entrusted me with HIM?  Not just any child, but THIS one?  How many nights my heart pleaded and my arms ached to hold a baby of my own…and what an answer to prayer he is?

…how amazed I am by his spirit, his endless capacity to love and forgive, and his thirst to know God more deeply?  How in awe I am of his willingness to reach out to others, how he never knows a stranger, how he is able to put others at ease in his presence so effortlessly?

…how talented and gifted he truly is?  How he never needs to doubt himself or what he can do?  How big God’s plans are for his life and how I see him doing something truly meaningful and making an impact in this world someday?

…how much joy he brings to my heart just by the light of his life, his smile, and his charming personality?  How sometimes I just soak him in, trying to capture and remember each moment, frozen in time, to carry in my heart forever?

…how proud I am of him?  How it makes my heart swell to hear the words of praise and affirmation that are heaped on him by those who know him?  How even perfect strangers have come up to me and shared with me what a delight my son is, and how truly special he must be?

No, I don’t suppose he will ever truly know those things.  But that’s okay.  Because for now, I have him with me.  I can be with him all the time.  And I can assure you, I will treasure every moment.

Yesterday was the last day of school.  It’s hard to believe it’s been 9 months since Trey and Crisana met their teachers for the first time.  Or 9 months since we took those brand-new crayons or unopened boxes of notebook paper into their new classrooms.  Or 9 months since the first day of school, where all three of us entered different classrooms.  But the calendar tells me this is true.

As I look back over the past year, I can see how much my children have learned.   But I can see something else, too: how much I have learned.  How much Matt and I have learned as parents.  How much we have learned as a family.  And here are just a few of the nuggets I’ve gleaned since August:

Parenting is Hard

Yes, it’s hard work.  There are lunches to be made and rooms to be cleaned and homework to be finished and checked, and activities to be scheduled.  We strive to ensure that our children are well-adjusted socially, challenged academically, nurtured spiritually, developed physically, and stimulated mentally.  We organize and orchestrate and schedule and provide and work so that our children can be the very best possible chance of success in life.

But sometimes, despite our best efforts, our children fail.  And that’s hard.  It’s hard to watch them stumble.  It’s hard to wipe away their tears of frustration, discouragement, and sorrow.  It’s hard to know the words to say to offer comfort and direction.  It’s even harder to have them withdraw from you – even for a season – as they attempt to work out their complex emotional and mental battles on their own.

Parenting is Work

School takes a break.  Workers get days off.  Employees have vacation days.

Parents get none of that.

Oh sure, we may have a “date night” or an evening where the kids are farmed out to Grandma or various friends.  But the responsibility of parenting never goes away.  And when we try to shirk our responsibilities as parents, the repercussions are serious.

Being a parent means I am active.  Actively involved in my children’s lives.  Actively listening when they talk to me.  Actively engaged when they are sharing their ideas, thoughts, emotions, and dreams.  Actively interested in the things that interest them.  Actively living and experiencing life with them.  Actively molding their personalities, developing their character, and instilling the qualities God would desire in them.

It means not sitting on the sidelines and being a spectator in the sport of their development.

Parenting brings the greatest reward

It’s been a tough year.  There have been some difficult moments, to be sure.  Some days my knees got sore from spending so much time in prayer – for me, for my kids, for our family.

But over the past week I’ve been reminded again and again how much my children are loved and appreciated, simply because of who they are.  As Trey has fought a virus that has kept him out of several fun end-of-year activities, his friends have asked about him…commiserated with him…and genuinely missed having him as part of the activities.  Crisana has a long list of invitations and play dates to arrange for the summer, with friends old and new who want to spend time with her.  And as a parent, I couldn’t be prouder.  My children may not be the smartest, or the greatest athlete, or the best musician, or the most talented artist in their school or even their class.  But my children are developing as leaders among their peers.  They are respected and loved by their classmates, their teachers, and other adults.  They are developing character and integrity, and demonstrate hearts of compassion and service toward others.

Those are the things no certificate can ever capture.