This is my I Am Second story.
I have been a Christian nearly all my life. I accepted Jesus’ sacrificial death for my sins and God’s offer of forgiveness when I was 5 years old. I was baptized when I was 9 years old. I grew up in the church, attended Christian schools all the way from first grade through college, and taught in a Christian school for four years after graduation. My testimony is not so much how I became a Christian, but rather how I’m becoming a Christ-follower.
About two years ago, I was preparing a sermon series for children’s church on Hebrews 11 – the heroes of faith. I was in the midst of writing the lesson on Abraham when I was struck with God’s call for him to leave: to leave a life where he was successful, respected, and known to follow God. To lose it all, to know no one, to not even know where his ultimate destination would be. And I thought, “How can I challenge these children to follow God when I’m not willing to do the same?” At that moment, God got my attention. I began to realize He might just be asking me to do what Abraham did – to step down from my position of leadership at our church…and ultimately to leave that church completely, to risk losing friendships and relationships, to go from a place where we were well-known and respected – and go to a place God would ultimately show us.
So I did.
A few months later we sensed God was leading us to McKinney Fellowship Bible Church. It wasn’t long before we saw His hand leading us into ministry and finding ways to plug in and get connected. I thought I was finished. But God wasn’t.
Last fall, a little more than a year after that initial call to follow, God gave us a test much like He did Abraham. Matt was diagnosed with cancer and I had to make the choice to be willing to lay my “Isaac” on the altar of sacrifice. Those months were difficult as we wrestled with all the uncertainty, fear, and worry of such a life-altering diagnosis. Mercifully, just as He did for Abraham, God provided a ram in the thicket for us and healed Matt completely. And I thought I was finished. But God wasn’t.
Now the time has come again for me to make some choices. Will I choose my own way, or will I let God lead? Will I allow fear to guide me into making decisions or will I walk in faith, trusting God to provide? My first step of faith was in regards to my job. Though our plans were different, I believe God is calling me to stay home another year and continue teaching piano. The financial implications of this decision are frightening and I’m tempted to take matters into my own hands and try to create a security blanket. But that is not what God wants me to do. I must walk the pathway of faith and trust that God will provide for all my needs and those of my family.
But above and beyond, God is placing in my heart a desire to do more to BE more for Him. To be more of a light. To reach out beyond myself and my desires or wants. I believe God is calling me to go on a short-term mission trip to Uganda. The thought of doing such a bold step of faith scares me – not so much for the going-to-Africa part, but for the overwhelming emotional impact it will have on me. I have to again walk the path of faith and trust that God will provide: financially for me to go, but also emotionally and spiritually for me to be effective while I am there.
Like Abraham, following God has taken me to unexpected places. But I am excited about what lies ahead. No longer do I want to miss out on God’s blessings because I am too selfish, too afraid, too stubborn to do what God is asking. No longer am I content to sit back and live a life of comfortable Christianity. No longer am I satisfied with the status quo of ministry and outreach. No, I want to live a life that is dynamic, have a faith that is active, and be willing to listen, to obey, to follow…wherever.
My name is Debily, and I Am Second.