I saw this image on a friend-of-a-friend’s post. And much like the feeling I get when I eat a donut, it didn’t sit well with me.
The reality is, my job as a mother isn’t to teach my children not to NEED me any more. My job is to teach my children not to BE DEPENDENT on me any more. To give them the skills and confidence to figure out who they are and what they were made for. To give them a launching pad toward finding a career that provides financial security, to provide a foundation for a faith that truly becomes their own, and to guide them in discovering the ideals and qualities they will look for in their future spouse and friend groups. That is the assignment, as I understand it.
Truthfully, I hope my children always NEED me, just as I have always NEEDED my own parents…and why the sudden loss of my father at such a young age, and the excruciatingly slow and lengthy fade of my mother have been so gut-wrenchingly painful. I needed my mother to help me craft professional and succinct policies for my studio. I needed my dad to help me seek out my first apartment and move my furniture into it. I needed my mom to provide recipes and tips on entertaining in my new home. I needed my dad to give wise counsel regarding job opportunities and grad school assignments. I needed my mom to go shopping with me to find that perfect dress for a special occasion, and I needed my dad to help me understand the ins and outs of car maintenance and care.
And as I stand on the cusp of empty-nesterhood, I hope that I, as their mother, have done well to raise children who are capable of being fully independent of me…but who will always need their mother’s love, wisdom, and involvement in their lives.