Dear Dad,
I can’t believe it’s been 12 years since I last saw you. Sometimes it seems like much longer ago, and other times it seems more recent. But the heartache of missing you and sharing life with you doesn’t ever truly go away. I’ll say it: I hate that you’re gone. I know God has a plan, and I truly am happy for you, but that doesn’t mean I’m not a little sad for me…and for your grandchildren, most of whom never had the chance to get to know you.
Speaking of grandchildren, I wish you could see them. You would be so proud of them. All of them, I know, but especially the ones who live under my roof. I’m sure they would be your favorites. Just don’t let Dan know that. Trey reminds me so much of you…the way he looks, in his demeanor, in his caring, sensitive, loving personality. I think God gave me a little piece of you when He gave us Trey. For that, I am grateful. You’ll never guess what he’s decided he wants to be when he grows up. A baseball player! This from a kid who doesn’t particularly like sports, who has never played on an organized team, who has managed a few hits with a whiffle ball and bat on Cub Scout outings! But we’ve been taking him out in the yard after dinner recently and working with him on his throwing and batting. He shows promise but still needs lots of practice. I wish you could be here to play catch with him. Sometimes I see you in my minds’ eye, tossing the ball with Trey, teaching him in your gentle, reassuring manner, and telling him all the things he needs to know about baseball…like the Red Sox greats from the past.
And Crisana. Oh, Dad, she would be your little princess. Yep, she’s a “mini-me” and I know the two of you would have a grand time sharing tea parties. I can imagine how she’d have you dressed to the nines, draped in jewelry and bling, sipping tea from royal plastic teacups…or how you’d help her care for her babies, tenderly holding and rocking them as you play house. She is all girl, but can rough and tumble with the boys any time. She’s not afraid to go tramping around the pond on a Sunday afternoon, looking for snakes and frogs and coyote tracks.
Matt and I are doing well. We survived quite a scare this past year but Matt is completely healthy now and has a bright future ahead. It was a difficult year, but going through his experience with cancer made me realize how much I want to share our lives together. I’m so grateful that our children still have their dad around, like I had you. As hard as it was to lose you, I realize how blessed I was to have 28 years to spend with you. You were there for all my growing-up years. You saw me graduate from high school and college. You taught me how to ride a bike and throw a baseball and change a tire. You attended my piano recitals and band concerts and volleyball games. You took me to practice, helped me with my homework, and went camping with me. You helped me choose my very first apartment, my first car, and taught me how to drive a stick-shift. You helped me move into my first apartment and our first house. You walked me down the aisle and gave me away at my wedding. So many moments you were there for…I can’t be too sad about the ones you’ve missed.
Well, I guess I’ve rambled on long enough. I know you’ve got some new friends in heaven now that you probably want to visit with. Just know that I love you and miss you and will always be
Your little girl,
Debbi