It would practically be a crime to live in the Dallas area and not visit Chuck Swindoll’s church at least once! So this week, off we went to Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, a stone’s throw from Matt’s new office.
Our journey there was a bumpy one, due mostly to heavy fog, which made visibility near zero in some areas. Unfortunately, this caused a major accident which had 121 Southbound completely shut down. Due to the detour, we were afraid we would be very late getting there and getting the kids settled, but we managed to make good time the rest of the way. Like a veil being lifted, we discovered the church appearing out of the mist as we approached. We found that the sanctuary is still under construction, and many Sunday school classes are having to meet in portables. Construction traffic made parking tricky, especially since there is no visitor parking, but we followed the crowds and managed to find our way inside.
Matt made a beeline for the worship center to save us seats while I shuttled the kids to their respective classes. Despite the modern interior and the newness of the building, I found directional and informational signage to be less-than-adequate for visitors and had a challenging time trying to figure out where the check-in station was. The volunteers were friendly, however, and extremely helpful. We checked in and the volunteer made sure I understood where the drop-off rooms were and where I would pick up the children. We first took Trey to his class – a fun, interactive gathering called C.L.U.B. (Children Learing to Understand the Bible). We were very warmly greeted and a teacher instantly took Trey under her wing to be sure he was transitioned well and felt comfortable. I was incredibly impressed with this area: interactive centers for the children (Legos, Art, Reading, and Sports) and decorated in a fun, treehouse-looking theme. As I left, the children were singing “Happy Birthday” to two children (who had apparently celebrated birthdays that week and were wearing silly floppy birthday cake hats). It was the kind of place I would have liked to hang out!
Then it was on to Crisana’s room. Her hour was primarily a Sunday-school type arrangement, but the room was full of children learning and interacting with each other. The volunteers greeted us (and her) with excitement and enthusiasm and welcomed her into their activities. Though a little apprehensive at first, she soon was involved with all her new “friends.” She eagerly told us her Bible story and shared her artwork with us when we picked her up.
After that, I headed downstairs to meet up with Matt. As I neared the Worship Center, I could see that they were praying. I figured I’d just stand inside the door and wait to seat myself when the prayer was over. Much to my surprise, however, an usher comes up to meet me and it’s a former church member from Marsh Lane (Matt’s church in high school and college, and through our engagement and first two years of marriage)! Joe was, and still is, one of the “good guys” in our book. He was a guiding force and mentor for Matt for many years and in many ways, and will always be someone that Matt looks up to and respects greatly. Joe recognized me (my slack-jawed, wide-eyed look of surprise notwithstanding) and showed me to where Matt was sitting.
The service is definitely traditional, with a robed choir, piano and organ. No praise team, no praise band. The worship leader directs not only the choir but also the congregation as he stands behind the pulpit. We sang from the hymnal – there were no words projected onto large screens. Definitely a switch from last week!
During the worship time, I had a moment. We were singing an old PCBC favorite, “There is a Fountain” by Dennis Jernigan. The words are so rich and the music so beautiful and I remember not only singing this on praise team, but playing it with the band…and just how every time we sang it I wept with the reality of what I was singing. I’ll save the sermonette on this song for another time, but as we sung it this week, I was once again overcome and the tears began to flow, unstoppable. And I realized that for the first time, I was allowing myself to grieve over leaving Prairie Creek. Yes, I had grieved at that moment when I knew God was calling us to leave – how could I not? – but that was silent and alone. And, yes, I was sad on that last Sunday, but I knew I needed to put on the brave face for my family as well as my friends – to show that yes, this was the right thing for us to do. But today, I grieved. I grieved for myself and for the ministries I loved and am no longer part of. I grieved for the loss of my sense of “family”, of “belonging”. I grieved for those friendships that have already changed, already adapted and moved on…without me.
I don’t mean to sound like I’m throwing a pity party. I’m not. And I’m certainly not looking for validation. But I don’t think I had dealt with the reality of what we’ve done…the process of starting all over again and building new relationships, forging new links to ministry, trying to find our place in a new family of believers. It’s hard. It’s lonely. It’s scary. And I needed to grieve, just a little, over all of it. It’s okay…I hadn’t had a good cry in quite awhile.
Well, all that aside, we moved on to the teaching time. Anything the music portion lacked, the teaching time more than made up for. As his text, Chuck was speaking from the latter part of Romans 15. The teaching was rich, full of God’s truth, and so applicable to daily life. I sat there and soaked it in, like a sponge. And when, going on a little tangent, he spent time hailing the rich truths of verse 13 (my life verse), the tears flowed again. I wanted to stand up and shout, “See??! I KNEW it was a good verse!!” But I didn’t.
His sermon ended, he prayed, and just like that the service was over. On the way home, the kids asked if that was the last church we were going to visit before going to our “real” church. It’s been fun to have the freedom to visit such a wide variety of churches, but I’m ready for us to settle down. To find a place where we can get connected again. To be a part of a family and have the support that comes from sharing life, not just on Sunday, but all week long. Hopefully, this will be the last “cross”-examination for awhile. Hopefully, the next service we attend will be the first of many spent in our new church home.