Yesterday was the last day of school. It’s hard to believe it’s been 9 months since Trey and Crisana met their teachers for the first time. Or 9 months since we took those brand-new crayons or unopened boxes of notebook paper into their new classrooms. Or 9 months since the first day of school, where all three of us entered different classrooms. But the calendar tells me this is true.
As I look back over the past year, I can see how much my children have learned.  But I can see something else, too: how much I have learned. How much Matt and I have learned as parents. How much we have learned as a family. And here are just a few of the nuggets I’ve gleaned since August:
Parenting is Hard
Yes, it’s hard work. There are lunches to be made and rooms to be cleaned and homework to be finished and checked, and activities to be scheduled. We strive to ensure that our children are well-adjusted socially, challenged academically, nurtured spiritually, developed physically, and stimulated mentally. We organize and orchestrate and schedule and provide and work so that our children can be the very best possible chance of success in life.
But sometimes, despite our best efforts, our children fail. And that’s hard. It’s hard to watch them stumble. It’s hard to wipe away their tears of frustration, discouragement, and sorrow. It’s hard to know the words to say to offer comfort and direction. It’s even harder to have them withdraw from you – even for a season – as they attempt to work out their complex emotional and mental battles on their own.
Parenting is Work
School takes a break. Workers get days off. Employees have vacation days.
Parents get none of that.
Oh sure, we may have a “date night” or an evening where the kids are farmed out to Grandma or various friends. But the responsibility of parenting never goes away. And when we try to shirk our responsibilities as parents, the repercussions are serious.
Being a parent means I am active. Actively involved in my children’s lives. Actively listening when they talk to me. Actively engaged when they are sharing their ideas, thoughts, emotions, and dreams. Actively interested in the things that interest them. Actively living and experiencing life with them. Actively molding their personalities, developing their character, and instilling the qualities God would desire in them.
It means not sitting on the sidelines and being a spectator in the sport of their development.
Parenting brings the greatest reward
It’s been a tough year. There have been some difficult moments, to be sure. Some days my knees got sore from spending so much time in prayer – for me, for my kids, for our family.
But over the past week I’ve been reminded again and again how much my children are loved and appreciated, simply because of who they are. As Trey has fought a virus that has kept him out of several fun end-of-year activities, his friends have asked about him…commiserated with him…and genuinely missed having him as part of the activities. Crisana has a long list of invitations and play dates to arrange for the summer, with friends old and new who want to spend time with her. And as a parent, I couldn’t be prouder. My children may not be the smartest, or the greatest athlete, or the best musician, or the most talented artist in their school or even their class. But my children are developing as leaders among their peers. They are respected and loved by their classmates, their teachers, and other adults. They are developing character and integrity, and demonstrate hearts of compassion and service toward others.
Those are the things no certificate can ever capture.