This week, we get into the “meat” of the course, the discussion of the actual love languages. Through my own personal observation, I’m pretty convinced that physical touch is Trey’s primary love language. Even at age 7, he still loves to snuggle, he holds my hand, and he’s pretty demonstrative in his affection to others.
As I’ve read through the chapter on this particular love language, I was interested in their discussion of speaking to this love language as children move out of infancy and toddlerhood into older childhood and particularly adolescence. The authors mentioned the importance of using creative ways to demonstrate physical touch, and particularly for boys, roughhousing, wrestling, and playing contact sports all count toward filling that emotional tank for children who crave physical touch. I remember a conversation I had with Dan when Trey was a baby where he told me about a study he’d researched for his one of his graduate classes that studied the link between rough play for boys and how it impacts the level of testosterone development in a positive way. When I consider how to help my boy grow into a godly man, I am very much aware that teaching him safe and healthy boundaries in the area of physical touch will not only help him in his relationships growing up, but can prepare him to be a wonderfully loving husband someday.
I remember a specific incident when I was around Trey’s age. At that time, both my brothers were in their mid- to late-teens, and I was in the back yard with Dan when my dad came home. I told Dan we’d better hurry to get inside so we could give Dad a hug and a kiss to welcome him home, and Dan replied, “Boys don’t usually give their dads hugs and kisses.” I remember being quite stunned by that remark!  And obviously, it stuck with me. Now as a parent, I can see how that part of the relationship would change, but the trick lies in being sensitive to the situation. I hope that I can establish safe and healthy boundaries for my own children, and remain open and willing to see them for who they are as they grow and mature.
Wow, this job of parenting sure is more complicated than I thought it would be!