Fun with similes!

Ah, similes.

No, not those silly little emoticons you put in emails. Those are smileys.

I’m talking about similes. Those darned vocabularological comparisons you had to study in high school for no other reason than to pass the SAT, get into a good school, and prepare you for a profession in which the only simile you’ll ever need to know is “This job _____________ like _____________.” Unless you become a high school college prep teacher, in which case your fun with similes will never end and you’ll be caught in an endless loop of “likes” and “as.”

But a love of similes is cultivated early in life, during those formative years when we begin our mastery of the intricacies of the Mother Tongue. I was reminded of this just yesterday, when my buycbdproducts Crisana gave me a lesson in similes that I’ll never forget. The inspiration is the highly regarded text, “Touch and Feel Kitten” published by Dorling Kindersley.

Page 1: The kitty’s fur is as soft as a blanket. Fur is for a kitty. Not for a soft owner. A owner has skin. And the soft fur belongs to the kitty.

Page 2: The kitty’s tongue is as rough as the bottom of a bathtub. Ours is really rough.

Page 3: The kitty’s tags are as smooth as a mirror. You can see yourself in them.

Page 4: The kitty’s bowl is as hard as your eyes.

Page 5: The kitty’s basket is as scratchy as your bug bites.

Sheer genius, I tell you. Let these words sink in and you’ll see what I mean.