I should have posted this on Sunday, but we ended up selling popcorn and visiting with neighbors a little too late.
When I resigned my position at Prairie Creek, I did so with the heartfelt desire and honest commitment to follow God wherever He might choose to lead me and my family. Though my heart was full of faith and trust in God’s ultimate goodness, that kind of selfless abandon can be a bit frightening. I know that God’s ultimate plan is good, and that He will protect me in whatever I face…but I like it when life is comfortable, and established, and….well…KNOWN. But God’s plans don’t always match up with our plans, and soon our family found ourselves at – dare I say it – a “Cross”-roads. Would we lay down OUR desires and pick up HIS cross and follow Him?
God’s plan became painfully clear to us within a short time after my resignation. We prayed, and talked, and searched, but His leading was inescapable. Therefore, we began the sad process of announcing to our friends and church family that we would be leaving Prairie Creek. This past Sunday was our last Sunday to worship there as fully-involved members. And though we don’t intend to let our friendships slip away, things will be different. We won’t see some people as often as we’d like. For some, a yearly Christmas card may be all the contact we have. We will rely on “the grapevine” to keep us informed of news and happenings. We will no longer be part of that inner circle we have thrived on for over a decade. And that’s hard.
But with that sadness comes great anticipation. I know that God has led us here for a reason. I know He has a purpose and a plan for our lives. I know that He has ministry opportunities in store for us. I know that this is His plan, His will. And I know that I’d rather be concerned with pleasing Him and doing what He wants than in worrying about what anyone else thinks.
Our dear friend and music minister at PCBC wrote a beautiful arrangement of the old hymn, “I Have Decided.” As a 9-year-old in Miami, I remember singing this hymn with the church congregation as we trekked from the classroom at MCS across the street to “Lake Laguna” where I was baptized. The song, symbolic of my decision to turn from a life of sin and begin a new life committed to following God, was a confirmation of my heart’s desire. In much the same way, this past Sunday I sensed a new commitment burning in my heart as I sang – or rather, tried to sing – the words of this song. It was my prayer, my fervent desire, my earnest plea to God: “I have decided…I have DECIDED…I HAVE DECIDED TO FOLLOW JESUS.” Please don’t forget me, God. Please hear my honest cry to You. Please carry me through the hurt and sadness of goodbye and the fear of the unknown to a place of unspeakable joy and peace as I find my purpose and direction in You.
My dear PCBC friends, you will always be in my heart. I hope and pray the best for you. I anticipate hearing great things about what God is doing through you. May your hearts continue to burn with a holy passion for Him. I love you.
You cried rivers, I did, too. I kept thinking “though none go with me” and thinking of you having to go a different way. I follow even when it is hard and lonely, knowing it is the best way. Where will He lead? Eventually, we’ll all be reunited and we’ll all worship together again. (Remember choir practice?) Goodbyes always reminds me that there is a heaven, else why would it be so painful?
Yes, definitely, REMEMBER CHOIR PRACTICE!! It will be awesome! (and Beverly and Christine will be able to join us in the alto section – won’t that be cool!)
It’s interesting what you said because in Beth Moore’s study on the Patriarchs, she mentions how God has set eternity in our hearts. “I have a hope that will never fade away…” and that hope is so good!