Creation: Committee-style

IN THE BEGINNING….

In the beginning, God created heaven and earth.  He was challenged immediately with a class-action suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement.

At last, He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but soon was handed a cease-and-desist order enjoining Him from creating on earth.

At the government hearing, God said, “Let there be light.”  The bureaucrats demanded to know how the light would be made.  They asked if there would be thermal pollution, or strip mining.   They requested an internal study on the impact of the light on neighborhoods, and if the light would violate any dark-sky ordinances.

God replied that the light would be created from a huge ball of fire.  God was granted provisional permission to make light (1) if He would obtain a building permit, (2) if no smoke would result from the ball of fire, and (3) if He would keep the light on only half the time to conserve energy.

God agreed and said He would call the light “day” and the darkness “night”.

Then God said, “Let the earth bring forth green herbs and many seeds.”   The EPA agreed as long as native seed was used.

Then God said, “Let waters bring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may fly over the earth.”  Officials insisted that this would require approval from the Department of Wildlife.

When God said He wanted to complete the project in six days, the officials informed Him that it would take at least two hundred days to review the application and the environmental impact statement.  Then there would be a public hearing followed by a twelve-month waiting period.

Then God created hell.

Because I believe in giving credit where credit is due, I cannot claim this story as my own, though I did add some minor embellishments.  This story came from a recent acquisition from the McFBC library, “More Holy Hilarity: Inspirational Wit and Cartoons”.  The book is actually a compilation of jokes, anecdotes, cartoons, and quotations submitted to the Fellowship of Merry Christians.  I highly recommend this book for its wealth of blog material and its appeal as bathroom reading…as demonstrated by my 5-year-old daughter, who I discovered “reading” this as she sat doing her business one recent afternoon.